Indulging Our Passions
Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things. – Denis Didero
When is the last time you indulged in your passion? Before you answer that, this post is rated G for general audience. All other answers can be sent to my email… just kidding!
I’ve been thinking about the topic of pursuing passions for the past week. It came up in a couple of conversations, I’m looking forward to reading a new political blog, you know who you are : ) and a deeply honest post from my friend over at The Daily Chronicles of a SAHM. This post had me thinking about why it is that so many mothers give up or postpone their passions because of a whole laundry list of excuses.
This Sunday the sermon at church was about this same topic, indulging our passions. It was just what I needed to motivate me to thoroughly cover this topic on Inspire Mama.
The importance of indulging our passions cannot be denied. We only have to look to the Olympics to see how passion can transform not only yourself but everyone around you. Now think of your children. Aren’t you a better, saner, happier, more joyous mama when you have filled your own spirit by indulging your passions even if it’s just a little.
This has been a tough lesson for me to learn. As a teacher, a therapist and as a mother, I have given all that I had until there was nothing left for me to give and there wasn’t much left of “me”. It wore me down and I believe it negatively impacted on my ability to be the best teacher, therapist or mother that I could be. I’m not sure exactly how the saying goes, but it’s something like this. If I’m a pitcher of water, then I have to fill myself before I can fill any one else’s cup.
This post is part of Steady Mom’s 30 minute blog challenge, which means I’m writing, editing and publishing this in only 30 minutes so I’ve only been able to scratch the surface and now I’ll ask a bunch of questions. I plan to write about indulging our passions in more depth by answering these questions in posts to follow.
Questions for me & you to ponder…
What if I don’t know what my passions are? How do I discover them?
What are my excuses for not pursuing my passions?
Are there any negative side effects of pursuing your passion? (think G rated)
How can you make the world better through your passions?
How do we encourage our children to pursue and nurture their passions?
Do you have any more questions to add or are you daring enough to answer some of these for us?
oh boy, what a post! I hope you get a lot of comments on this one, because i think this is a topic moms need to talk about. It’s something I’ve been thinking too – especially related to my husband. I give and give and give all day that I really have not much left to give him or anything else let alone any outside passions I may have. I’m telling myself it will just be like this for a few years while Koa is still so small and I’m nursing and co-sleeping, etc. In my mind I imagine that when he is about 2 things will start to ease up a bit… hoping at least. In the meantime I’m at a loss and don’t really know what to do in that respect Looking forward to your further thoughts on this subject!
Leslie´s last blog ..Sibling Love
I agree wholeheartedly and I am fortunate to have realised this early on in my journey of mothering. It is very much a part of looking after yourself so that you can look after others. I am lucky to have a very supportive husband who gives me the time to do the things I enjoy – he knows that without it I would go insane I think!
great post! after my realization of my passions, the hard part is fitting them into the day. When I only had one child, it was much easier!! But for now, the pottery wheel has been put away, and the blocks have been brought out in it’s place!
My biggest question, and worry for me, is to make sure I help my children realize their passions and make sure I help them follow them.
tracy´s last blog ..March to a Different Beat
I too have discovered that now with two children it has become a lot harder to pursue my passions. Some days I just feel like I am overflowing with creativity and I just don’t have time to do anything other than writing it down. It makes me so frustrated and in turn makes me somewhat angry and restless. If I could now find out how to get my husband to understand that I need him to take the girls out once in a while so that I can pursue my ideas and get my creativity out without being needed by someone all the time.
Marianne Aanderbakk´s last blog ..Clothes for my daugther – Moms’ 30 Min Blog Challenge at Steadymom
Hay 30 minute mom, I have noticed that when I sit down to do something I love, then my kids will sit down alongside me… it can easily end up with everyone following their own heart and it is so much fun to do it alongside each other. For ages I didn’t do the things that I love but I realized if my kids didn’t see me doing what I love doing how can I expect them to do what they love doing… so now we have short spots of time when we all sit together – they do just arise and we do our own things together!!!
se7en´s last blog ..This Week (22 February) at Se7en…
Oh I so love this post, it spoke directly to me. You know how much I believe in nurturing ourselves, and I love the questions that you ask here. I think that I need to get my journal out and start thinking.
Heather´s last blog ..Embracing Time
Leslie, I hope I get a lot of comments too because I’m going to need them to get these questions answered! LOL This is definitely a big issue for parents, especially moms.
Andj, I think you hit on something vital. We need some support to pursue our passions. That’s great your husband supports you in that.
Tracy, I agree 100% I was able to take dance classes after having my first son but I’ve yet been able to after having my second son, 10 months old.
Marianne, I can relate to what you wrote about feeling overflowing with creativity and not being able to act on it. I love that you write down you ideas even when you don’t have the time to act on them. Eventually, you will right? At least you are expressing those creative impulses. I’m going to definitely write about husbands and maybe we can all brainstorm some ideas about this.
Se7en, Thanks for stopping by! You’re so right! I believe that our children learn more from watching what we DO and seeing us follow our passion they are more likely to do the same. I love the imagery of you sitting together, each of you following your heart.
Heather, Thank you, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read your blog and thought the same thing! This is definitely been a challenging area for me, which is also why I loved your series on nurturing ourselves. It’s so nice to have this discussion with other people.
Tracy said, “My biggest question, and worry for me, is to make sure I help my children realize their passions and make sure I help them follow them.”
Ghandi said something about being the change you want to see in the world.
I think it’s time you break out that pottery wheel girl!
Marianne Aanderbakk said, ”
If I could now find out how to get my husband to understand that I need him to take the girls out once in a while so that I can pursue my ideas and get my creativity out without being needed by someone all the time.”
First, I am feeling ya! Just reading your comment made my arms tight!
Here’s what I’ve learned; (1) Silence is golden. (2) Gold is mined.
In laymen’s terms, just keep digging and you will find time for solitude.
Leslie said, ” i think this is a topic moms need to talk about.”
I agree. I see a trend in the words work/life balance and your post makes me think we should think about a give/take balance. I mean we set boundaries for children, animals, strangers, and etcetera but not for ourselves. “no,mommy doesn’t want to play right now” WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
“so be it”
Donna, Thank you for your insightful comments. You have really enriched the conversation. I like what you said about setting boundaries, it rings true. I love that quote from Ghandi, I’ll have to add it to my inspirational quotes page.
Wow! What a conversation. I’m new to you. My family has made the choice (for now) for me to be a SAHM and it has been kicking my behind for almost 4 years. The joys are immeasurable, I know the choice is my own and it is a luxurious choice in many ways, but I had quite an identity crisis. I need some encouragement to identify and reach for mastery of a single passion (rather than 20).
An important variable in all this is that most of us are alone with our children. We no longer have extended family living with us or around the corner (sisters, mothers, etc.) and our neighborhoods are not as neighborly and open door as they used to be. We don’t have as many buffers, adult contacts, social supports, kids for our kids to know and love daily without planning, driving, scheduling and all that jazz.
I’ve figured out quite a few things within my situation
I tell my husband specifically what I need from him; don’t make him guess or get caught in wishing he would just do it.
I do what I need to do by informing him rather than asking/negotiating. This actually works for him. He feels hemmed in by planning, but adapts well to current conditions…Some examples; “I’m going to the gym for an hour now.” “I’m taking a bath.” “I’m going to yoga from 9:30 -11 on Saturday” (maybe every Saturday, but he won’t remember). Sign up for tap class and arrange for a friend to be with my son. Hire a babysitter and announce that this Sunday is date night.
I have started asking all the mom’s I know and trust to trade kids for play times, so we each get a couple of ours once a week to do…whatever. Now that my son is almost 4, this feels right to me.
Lose sleep once in while for creativity, bedroom “activities”, reading, whatever.
I look forward to reading more.
Cindy, Thank you for your insightful addition to this conversation! Your comment was helpful for me and I’m sure many others because I often forget that my husband can not read my mind or that he should just know.
The point you made about most of us being alone with our children rings so true. I’ve heard this often and the funny thing is that I moved back to Maine to have my extended family near me but I find it’s often my own fault for not reaching out and asking for help when I need it. Thanks again.